Well of course it is silly. We’ll settle this later!

First, let’s recap an amazing ascent up the Half Dome with a band of freshly authenticated Still Peakin’ all stars.

The plan had been set for quite a while with the permits and an airbnb arranged by Devil Dog way back in April. Now the only thing I needed to do was to show up well prepared. Having previously hiked the Half Dome trail back in 2012 for the first time, I had a couple of key take aways. First up was to train well and get in some serious climbs leading up to Half Dome. On this front I was looking good having completed the 3 T’s trail the previous weekend and hiked most of the summer. Secondly, equip myself with a rock climbers harness and clip in with carabiners. The 2012 excursion, particularly the decent down the cabled path (aka via ferrata) was a nerve racking experience. Although the numbers are controlled by permits these days, the path can still get a bit crowded. One bad slip and you’re turkey vulture food lil buddy. I wasn’t leaving this to chance this time around!

The Santa Clarita crew of 5 with the Terminator in the drivers seat, jumped off early Friday morning. They were scheduled to swoop up the legendary Born Packer in Fresno on the way up. B2P was in fresh off the bird from Arizona for the adventure. I was traveling solo on a later schedule, having to work early and unable to hit the road until about 12PM. I had onboard, all the fixin’s for a major pasta party aboard and needed to make it in time for dinner. After a bit of a delay near Magic Mountain, it was clear sailing all the way up.

When I arrived at the Sport Chalet, the door was unlocked but nobody was home. Curious! No sooner after settling in, I receive a text the rest of the crew is in the valley and heading home. ETA 25min. Oh damn, best to gets some pasta a cookin’!

When the crew finally arrived home, I was introduced to the Born Packer and reintroduced to the Terminator. Happy to see my longtime work buddies, The Small Capitan himself, Devil Dog and his main squeeze, the illustrious Hairband herself. I was also treated to quite a pleasant surprise, non other than The Navett Brother himself! Rockin’ his patented Home Depot visor, he was a site for sore thighs!

Well the pasta party went off like a family feast at Buca di Beppo and that’s about all I could’ve hoped for. Along with some moderate pregaming, the gang was officially carb loaded and ready to charge it. Better get to bed soon enough. A 4AM wake up was agreed upon. An hour for brekkie and into the world’s most glorious granite valley for the hike of the summer. Excitement was in the air and our prayers were with the bear.

The predawn ride into Yosemite Valley was electrifying. Four months in the making and it was finally go time skippy dawg. Better buckle up kids, get some sunscreens on, packages checked and one last real bathroom break in Curry Village. Then the trek across the valley floor to the trail head began. Nowhere to go but up from here sports fans.

We took the steep Mist trail up to begin the day. Vernal Falls, rushing rivers, wooden bridges, 100 year old rock steps. Amazing stuff. Yosemite baby.

Lots of steps! The kind of steps that break up couples, no joke!! The kind of steps that leave your toenails purple!! This is what the Half Dome trail is about, it’s a beauty and a beast.

A few pics and a quick break at the top of Vernal falls, there’s no time to lose, with lots more climbing ahead. Best put some more miles behind us while the day is still moderately cool. Everyone’s looking real good on the trial so far.

The Terminator, a Yosemite Valley veteran recounting some of his rock climbing expeditions. Born 2 Pack showing us why he’s just that. The Small Capitan killing it although he only ran 4 miles to prepare for it. Devil Dog and Hairband rocking steady, no slouches themselves. Everyone reporting loose glutes at this point.

Another quick breather at the John Muir trail juncture. A couple of barefoot hiking Wooks. Some international travelers, (is that Spanish or Portuguese?). All in all, an eclectic mix of outdoor enthusiasts on the trail this fine Saturday in August.

Little Yosemite Valley was next. This is where the trail levels off a bit. With the Merced river to our right and the Half Dome looming to our left nothing but beauteous nature. After a short respite, the climbing begins again. This time through the redwoods and pines. Some mule deer and mountain quail say howdy along the trail. We’re getting up there now glampers.

Next stop is the base of the sub dome. The Still Peakin’ crew takes a break and regroups. Set up here at the base of Sub Dome is a park ranger who’s validating permits with an IPad. A small group of siblings without permits manage to finagle some unused permits. We soon gather up to present the ranger our permit. Now friends, this is where we first encounter the Green Jacketed Buffoon. This dude begins by revealing to the ranger that he’s leading a group of climbers but has left some behind that may or not make it. Hmmm, not sure about that! He wants to know if they can pass the checkpoint later? The ranger politely tells him that’s not how this works. I should have known at that point, dude was a buffoon, but spirits were still high and I prefer to share the love along the trail.

Well, after we clear customs this is where the tough stuff really begins. Sub Dome is no joke folks, this is where you will surely find out if you’ve trained well enough. I started out in the lead but quickly dropped to the back. “I’ve lost my mojo baby!” Power on through BReazy, this is the home stretch kid.

Alas! There it is, the world famous cable route up the half dome. Time to stash the trekking poles and saddle up into my harness for the final ascent. With the gracious help of the Terminator, Hairband and myself got harnessed and acquainted with our locking carabiners. Small Cap and Born Packer hit the cables first free solo styley. Behind them, myself, Terminator, Hairband and Devil Dog bringing up the rear. The Terminator’s cool composure along the path, with the added security of the harness system; made this ascent loads more comfortable than 2012 was for me.

Still Peakin’ Y’all! We’ve made the Half Dome peak! Stunning vistas, samiches, beef jerky, nuts, red wine, diving board photo ops, amazing vibes all around and a grand sense of accomplishment. All the hard work was surely worth it.

Now only 9 miles back down to Curry Village, where some amazingly mediocre pizza and delicious beer awaits us.

OK now for the silly stuff… No sooner than we begin our safe decent, the Green Jacketed Buffoon reappears and asks us all a favor, can he pass us with his party on the cables? “Yeah sure of course buddy, Please get them to safety.” Now kids, just as this fool is passing by, he suddenly starts spouting some “You know it’s not a Via Ferrata?!?” baloney. Unbelievable. Green Jacketed Buffoon was posing as if he was some kind of trail authority. Making allusions that harnesses were not appropriate on the cables. Hmm, well that’s interesting, then why didn’t the actual NPS ranger say anything when we checked in? Oh, “It’s not a via ferrata?” really? Because Wiki-Freakin-Pedia sure thinks it is. Kindly keep your mouth shut next time Ranger Dick!!!

OK, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get back to enjoying the ride. The decent down offers yet more amazing views and is at first a big relief on the legs. Using different muscles with the assistance of gravity is a welcome change. By the time we had reached Little Yosemite Valley again, we were parched dry and the posse needed some water stat! Still Peakin’ reunited by the Merced and rehydrated with the help of some inline filters.

Most of us all dipped our feet in the icy cool river. Oh that’s nice! Terminator even went for a little dip in his skivvies. An adolescent rattle snake even payed us a visit. And for a moment I even reverted to a crazy New Yorker… I really am urging the group to get a move on. What the hell, aren’t I supposed to BReazy?

The hike down the Muir trail was long and punishing but nevertheless gorgeous. Does thing ever end? Back on the Valley floor the shuttle lines were too long, no choice but to keep on chooglin’ on into the village. Cold beers await at the tailgate. Victory! The night was ours to relish in the glory! It is a Via Ferrata! Ciao!